Scar Storybook
Temperament: Cranky
Record:Kurt on the Phone babbeling
[EDIt out everything that lead up to this]
Jesus Christ, what the hell? I mean every one, every one I know has scars, and not jsut ones on the outside, but heart ones too.

I'm tired of my family fighting--I'm tired of my parents ignoring me--I behave better than my siblings but they get the $100 shoes--They locked me up and threw away the key--My familiy abandoned me--I loved someone and they didn't love me back--I trusted someone and they betrayed me--The only person that ever really understood me is 1000 miles away and never coming back--The person I loved most put a knief not only in my back but in my chest--This is where I cut myself because I hated me--This is the poem from when I wanted to die--My best friend died--This is the scar from the time I nearly died--These bags under my eyes are from the night in the emergency room--This blood is from the friend I jsut sewed up--GOD DAMN IT WHERE IS YOUR ANGST? WHERE IS YOUR STRUGGLE? HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU BE SO SIMPLE AND HAPPY? DON'T YOU KNOW PAIN? DON'T YOU KNOW SADNESS? DON'T YOU KNOW LOSS? WHY WAS YOUR LIFE SO EASY? WHY WAS YOUR LIFE SO SAFE? WHY DON'T YOU HATE?

Why...do I have so many scars and you have so few? Why do my friends have to fight the good fight and yours don't?

I'm not mad at him for not being more I'm mad that I thought he was...*sigh* I need to find Geimer and talk to him.

EDIT: Stolen for you're viewing pleasure and consideration

Voice Mail Bitches
Temperament: Good
Record: Pimp My Ride on TV

OKay so yeah I was going to Chick-filla yesterday and I got 5 voicemails.One from Geimer, 2 from Quita, and 2 from Kurt. Yeah...I have found, yet again, the black hole where my phone doesn't work--the apartment. I walked around seeing where I had signal and that would be in my parents room standing on the bed and in the pantry with the fridge door open.
Also for everyone sending me text messages I get this lovely thingie
*\Missing Text\*
It looks EXACTLY LIKE THAT!!!!!

So...the only way to find me guarenteed is the internet. ^_^ Yeah....I swear...they need to build better buildings. I wonder if my phone will work on the first floor of the dorms...I dunno.
Okay that is all.




July 6th 2006
500th Post
Temperament: Happy
Record: Ben PLaying DMC 3

so Simmer is that time when everything slows down and you talk to people you haven't heard from in like 8 months. So talking to old friends from high school and stuff invariably lead to one end

EVERYONE IS EITHER MARRIED OR GETTING MARRIED!

Sweet Jesus why? I mean at first that was my initial reaction. I don't know about many of you but I have yet to see a well functioning marriage let alone a happy one--especially not in my family. And while I realize that this is not the case in all relationships I am at a point where I'm not interested in playing Russian roulette with the scenario.

So out of 4 friends 2 are married, 2 are going to be married at the end of the year or next year and, 1 is pregnant.

It’s gotten to the point, where at least once every other day my dad mentions me having a husband or children...which is grading on my nerves. I know very good, darn well my biological clock is ticking, and that biologically I'm over due to be a mother. Unfortunately or perhaps fortunately might be a better word, on the society scale it's not a good time. I mean I'm still only 19. There are kids my age still in high school and I'm about to start my 3rd year of college.

Good Lord I feel like Samantha from Sex in the City. It's a little daunting you know. I mean I don't feel pressured to get married or anything it’s just...lol I've found that people who have fallen into marital bliss and I have little to talk about.

Sweet Jesus where are Claudio and Hero to scheme up a happily ever after to this farce? (Shakespeare reference don't mind it if you didn't get it.)

You know and then there's this nagging feeling that I'm being ungrateful to good fortune. Like what if I were gay and had so many people advocating so I couldn't get married It's like I should be happy to have the privalege to get married. Like I should get married. IT'S SOOOOOOOOoOO ANNOYING. Well I think I'll stop going on and on now. Anyone want to weigh in?
Cheers,
Kim
P.S. Kurt bought me Magna Carta T_T I love it it's soooo pretty...I will be talkinga bout this as soon as I get some play time in on the Playstation...Ben is finishing up DMC3

GOD SOMEONE GET ME OUTTA HERE: A series of complaints
Temperament: Cranky
Record: "Summer Shudder" by AFI

Dear God someone get me out of here please!! I dispise being at hoome...as I've come to the conclusion everyone does. After nearly 8 months straight of doing whatever I wanted, however I wanted, it's kinda....like being shoved into a cage that's waaay too small. I mean...I'm sharing a room with a 10 year old....which isn't too much different from sharing a room with Kurt (j/k) but you guys know what I mean. I mean my parents have been on my ass for a week to do laundry. Now I don't know about you guys but I do laundry every 3 to 4 weeks....soo every week to me is a mind blowing waste of money. I mean it's not like I have clothes all over the floor like in the dorms I actually have it in my laundry bag (Kudos to me darn it). Then another thing, I'm kinda use to picking up after myself usually on Friday. That is the day where I grab my shit from the public space (unless there is a paper due Monday morning in whcih case guarenteed Quita will beat me to it because it's going to be a while you know...she definately ended up throwing all my shit back in my room more times than I'd care to admit)

THE POINT BEING!!! That if Quita moved my stuff or I moved hers we had the decency to remember where the hell we moved it or to leave a post it or something you know? NOT HERE...here my mom, wait this is going to take some back story.

In this room there is a full sized bed against one wall and a twin sized bed on the floor. Ben and I coud share the full but we both move a lot while we sleep (I have nightmares a lot and wake him up with the noise and moving) and he just tosses and turns so we sleep on seperate beds) then there are is my computer on the floor with the montor on the top of the tower. The only other piece of furnature in the room are 2 dressers one is lets say 3 1/2 Hight by 2 feet (like how wide the drawer is) by 1 foot (how far back the drawer goes) the ohter one is about 4 1/2 X 3 X 1. Anyway those are both full of Ben's clothes. In the middle of the room there's a 3 foot wide path...you know what I'll draw a picture
The Room

the beds are the two blueish ones that are onthe bottom the dressers are the red ones on top the two squares in the middle are the one closer to the bed is my comp and the one closer to the dresser is Ben's game box things and the light blue thing next to the bigger dresser is a shelf with some Ben stuff...ie his game cube and playstation.

So to tehe original point, SO WHERE IS MY STUFF? Well my friends my clothes are in a laundry basket on the closet floor and in cardboard boxes in the car. Apparently to my family my stuff was getting in the way because I refused to unpack. I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL IN 2 MONTHS!!!!!!! WE MIGHT MOVE AGAIN BEFORE THEN WHY WOULD I UNPACK??? So...the 3 boxes couldnt sit in the living room that would be too easy oh noooo....but the other 10 boxes that they brought were fine...yeah

ok so yeah there you go.

Basically I'm tired of being here and being....I'm not sure what the word would be but I dont feel welcome here. I miss
Kurt and Quita..oh Keisha wanted to see who these people are so just ignore those links normal people! I mean I dunno...I miss just lol I dunno. I'm lonely and stressed and pissed and frustrated. I think my family is trying to kill me...I dunno I never feel like this anywhere else. Any one else feel this way?

I think I'm done ranting for now I just needed to you know rant....this is totally disjointed. Sorry guys.
Cheers,
Kim

Another Brief
Temperament: Sick
Record:"Love Like Winter" by AFI

SO yeah to answer Peter's Question I get my pimptastic stationary from hereKawaii Corner. Its a nice site....aslo brief Q...does anyone know where I Can bet the Magna Carta game for less than $60? Just a Q...I'm going to go cry now...the killed off one of my characters from Fate/Stay Night...I don't think I can finish the show now T_T

Brief 411
Temperament: Refreshed
Record:"37mm" by AFI

So just a brief update here for those of you that I gave my address to I got the ZIP Code wrong X_X its no 30901 its 30907 just so you know. I went down to Macon two days ago to pick up my mail before they throw it away. Jonnell got your letter wrote you back anbd will be sending you a package in the near future. Peter I wrote you too...it really should be there by now...um if it isn't there I'm so sorry because I used my cute stationary...which seems to totally confuse the United States Postal Service. When I wrote you on the cherry stationary and Geimer on the coffee cup stationary I got those returned to me about 4 days later and then I had to resend them...which is why my address is crossed out on those. ANYWAY I didn't put my address here on those (it was too long) I put mu school address and I dont plan on going down there until like mid July. So if it's trapped there lol you'll get it in August and I am sooo sorry. Besides that....I'm good...I guess as can be expected. Well that's it.
Cheers,
Kim